haiku.
say no without guilt
yes without expectation
this here is freedom

I’ve always been the weirdo in my family. My way of thinking is a like a foreigner in a strange land. For example, I’ve always felt that it was important for me to give freely: to always do for others out of the untainted volition and kindness of my heart. I would run away from anything that even vaguely smelled of a guilt trip or manipulation.

Some think I don’t get “it”; it being their way of thinking or their truth concerning service and giving to others. Always say yes. Particularly to family. Family is all we have. (I personally believe that the nuclear family has destroyed society. But that is another post for another time.) Perhaps its that I don’t feel any loyalty to anyone other than myself. And that means to be the best representation of my Self that I can be in any given moment. (I can hear someone right now yelling at me telling me how selfish I am.)

I hate the feeling of owing. Its bondage of the worst kind. The kind where deeds and gifts are held over my head like a loan up for payment in full. I’d rather you not do or give. Yea, I may be salty in the moment. But, I prefer that than for you to call it up later like “remember when I…” Ummm, no I don’t.

In the past, it has been very difficult for me to say no without self-flagellation and being overrun with feelings of guilt. So, another level of freedom is for me to be able to say no without guilt. I don’t want to hold anything over anyone’s head. I don’t want for them to feel bogged down with my expectation of a certain behavior. If I give you my LOVE, you can know for sure that I won’t come back calling for a return on my investment with interest. If I give you my time, I won’t worry if you’ll be there for me later on. And if I give you a gift, its surely because all I desire to see is the smile on your face knowing that you were thought of, or not…

Trust me. This is not an easy concept for me to hold. But right now, it feels necessary. Mostly, its born out of disappointment. Me being disappointed in people who didn’t live up to my expectation of them. Lovers, friends, family members and even those with whom I am not intimately familiar. Just another thing to contribute to the emotional roller coaster that relationships can be. I really don’t like those things. The up down around swoop and fall. Yuck! PEACE is such a necessity these days. Everyday.

At the root of this paradigm is that the Universe has my back. I can love on you, give you money and time etc. and not feel anyway about it. . say yes without expectation. An addendum would be that I can give in full knowledge of the Truth that what goes around surely does come back around. Whatever I put out will be reflected back to me with the same intention that was behind my action. It won’t necessarily come back from the person I gave to. Oddly enough, this gives me the freedom to say yes more than no. I’m getting there. Fundamentally, I don’t own anything so its impossible for me to owe anyone or for anyone to owe me.

Don’t get me wrong. There are basic expectations in a relationship or connection with another human being. However, the onus is on me to show up as what it is that I desire. That way I’m never waiting on anyone to be anything to me or do anything for me. I haven’t yet perfected this art, but I’m getting there.

Certain folks have got us believing that terrorism only comes in the form of an Arab or Muslim. So, we’d better send more troops to Afghanistan and Iraq. We must fight them overseas so that we don’t have to fight them at home. Well, Department of Homeland Security, there are some terrorists that live in my community. They illegally possess handguns. And with them, they kill innocent little girls, and young black boys that have yet to realize their potential.

I’m one of those people that likes to think beyond race because I know that the real issue is power: money, land and natural resources. But I tell you, if the gun violence that overwhelmingly and disproportionately plagues black neighborhoods were to happen in, oh, I don’t know, say Schaumburg or New Trier; white folks would be up in arms. However, it’d probably only be because they would fear a decrease in property values. hmpf.

So what is to be done? Complain? Pray? Then pray some more?
I feel so powerless, yet something MUST be done. Clearly, the Chicago Police Department ain’t doin much. Legislators down in Springfield have suggested that we have the National Guard come and patrol the neighborhoods where this gun violence is occurring. But, these are OUR neighborhoods where WE feel unsafe and OUR children who are being murdered. We’ve marched, but then what?

I’d really love to do something radical like have sit-ins around the city. Huge masses of people would stage sit-ins in their neighborhoods overnight. There would be a sense of empowerment and connectedness that would occur. We would take back our streets! The number of people who are not shooting and participating in gun violence surely outweigh those that do. The question would be, how would I organize something like this?

Any ideas?

F*** tha police
Comin straight from the underground
Young n**ga got it bad cuz I’m brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority

F*** that s**t, cuz I ain’t tha one
For a punk muthaf***a with a badge and a gun
To be beatin on, and throwin in jail
We could go toe to toe in the middle of a cell
NWA, F**** the Police

I’ve never thought of myself as a political or social revolutionary. I’m more of a spiritual maverick. However, I am far from apathetic about issues that plague the human race.

The territorial nature of people baffles me, especially Americans. None of us are native to this land. When most of us Americans came to the USA, we were subjected to the same discrimination and hatred that Mexicans, particularly in Arizona, are now. Heck, some of us still are after being here for 100′s of years. I guess I don’t fully understand why certain American’s are against immigration and immigrant rights.

Maybe its a guilt and fear issue. Maybe they think that Mexicans are going to come to America and wipe out all of the White people just like the Europeans did the Native American tribes. Or, maybe they’ll take all the jobs, whatever is left, just like it was feared that the Irish and Italians would when they came. Now, the police have carte blanche to “protect” us passport toting American’s from those dangerous, freedom seeking Mexicans.

On a different, but strongly related note, a couple of lawmakers in Illinois have proposed that that the National Guard be brought to Chicago to help curb the recent surge in gun violence. Somebody hold my tea! EXCUUUUSE ME! [insert neck roll] I’d just like to say that the last time the National Guard came to Chicago, they were invited to join the protesters at the Democratic National Convention in 1968. That was a wild year. Is that what we are in store for?

I personally have a healthy level of skepticism concerning the police, the military and the government. Each only has as much power as is given to them by the people. The scary part is that people seem quite eager to give their power away to anyone they deem to have the gumption to act on their behalf. Mostly because many of us don’t deem ourselves capable.

Well, you know what I say to that? “F*** the Police”!

Who’s got the power
Is it “us” or “them”?
We feed it, it grows
And then we condemn
We give them what they want
They give us what what we need
But, don’t point any fingers, we’re all guilty of greed

Let’s be an Action Oriented Society
Dissidents for change to impart
Action Oriented Society
Passive aggressive protesters take no part
“Action-Oriented Society” © 2010 Dayna Lynn (“The Call”)

For any of you who have an interest in astrology, the astrological configurations of this decade strongly mirror those that occurred during the 1930′s and 1960′s. (See above mention of me being a spiritual maverick.) Both decades were fantastic turning points in the world and America: war, dynamic social and cultural shifts, jarring economic upheaval and resolute scientific advancement. Watch what happens!

“the revolution must begin!”, “oh big business!”, “oh the environment!”, “oh war!”, “what a tragedy!” these are all the cries and pleas of Avatar viewers as they leave the theatres and rant on blogs and with their friends; all fellow “revolutionaries” in training, or at least in theory. the spiritual implications of this movie were far more exciting and enlightening than any of the military bashing, pro-environment plugs, or ‘big business is evil’ messages.

A women, and her spiritual prowess, was the most prized and honored person of the Na’vi. She represented connection to the divine. Her example lead everyone to know that spirit is to be respected, acknowledged and embraced. When Neytiri introduced Jake Sully to The People, she said this is my father, but THIS is my mother (Mo’at which is very similar to Ma’at. hmmm…). Their most sacred places were spiritual power points where the wisdom of the ancestors was downloaded like the latest ke$ha single. the Na’vi’s respect for “the balance of life” moved me beyond words.

shouting “revolution!” and working within the confines of a fundamentally flawed system is one way to change the world and a necessary rung on the ladder of awareness, growth and enlightenment. however, total transformation of our minds and world is my chosen route. it starts with self-transformation. and that is definitely the most trying yet benefic journey ever to be taken.

but somehow the spirituality that moved me so in Avatar has to be translated into solid action on the material plane. i don’t know what that looks like on a massive scale, but i know for me it begins with living wholly in my passion and being the vehicle for love and healing i know that i am called and desire to be.

did you see avatar? what are your thoughts?

Today I read Susan Kim: Birth Control, Water, And Women. Its an article about the effect of estrogen in our water supply. Apparently, the millions of women worldwide who are on birth control regularly expel excess synthetic hormones into the water supply. This causes jacked up alligators, hermaphrodite fish etc. AND may be a part of the rise in breast cancer and female reproductive diseases.

I don’t know about the whole disease thing. I subscribe to some other theories concerning such things. (and i’m still sorting out that whole situation). But, what I do know is that women are powerful creatures. I mean, men too. But women are constantly bombarded with messages and images that tell them that they are powerless to their bodies, to other people, and to the universe. And that’ some bullish!

One book I love is The Televisionary Oracle. I’ll let you read the blurbs and info about the book. I’m into futuristic, alternate reality type of stuff. My new favorite phrase/adjective: OUTER SPACE! But back on topic. Clearly the hormone estrogen is powerful.  Its something women are taught needs to be controlled, “don’t let those hormones take advantage of you”, “oh! its just my hormones…I’m hormonal today.” What?! We’ve got hormone replacement therapy because menopause is gonna get you and then we’ve got a myriad of birth control pills and devices (that whole nuvaring things is SCARY!).  Gotta get that sucker estrogen (and progesterone) under control. We can’t have any mishaps with ‘the flow’ or any surprises, now, can we?

All I’m saying is that we as women have complete control of our bodies. Empowerment, spiritual strength, and knowledge is the key. EVERY WOMEN (and the enlightened men) should have this book in their library: Women’s Bodies Women’s Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup

the end.